Jan. 27, 2019

War of the water sprites

Living now in the darkest throws of winter, seemingly endless nights and bitter subzero temperatures plague the sanity of the mind. One would think being secluded from civilization for near half a year would create a state of peace and bliss.

Until you realize otherworldly creatures exist in the frozen North country... Call them sprites, fairies, gremlins, little people, whatever suites you, they tend to come causing mischief in the dark winter world.

Water sprites have infiltrated our homestead. I swear if you don't look directly toward them, you can see them flitting around water sources, seeing what mischief they can create. Today, they struck with the ferocity of Ghengis Khan, swooping down upon us in hordes.

Trying to hand tighten the main valve on the 55 gallon water barrel, it snapped off in Nate's hand. Water started shooting out the broken hole, dousing the water storage room in a glorious display of pressurized ice cold water, flooding the floor. Chaos strikes. Nate was yelling a stream of obscenities as we scrambled to find anything that would hold water.

The second 55 gallon water barrel sitting beside the spouting whale, has a garden hose section attached, which empties into a 5 gallon jug. As we are battling like Captain Ahab against Moby Dick, I see the 5 gallon jug now overflowing. "Turn off the valve!" I snap at Nate, "the 5 gallon jug is overflowing!! "

"What the hell?! I did turn it off!! What is going on!" He shouts back.

I pause, and take a deep breath. "Water sprites," I curse under my breath.

I take the containers of water we've been catching and place them on the kitchen counter. It is shower day and water is heating up on the woodstove for dishes and showers. As I am offloading the scalding hot water into the sink for dishes, it hits a glass cup, swirls in and shoots back up at me in a wave of boiling water, which in turn hits my hand holding the pot, burning the top of my hand. My turn to one up Nate in colorful language.

As this is happening, Nate is dumping water from one container into a larger one and it hits the handle, cascading more water onto the kitchen counter. This has become a fiasco. So much so, we both start laughing. 

On the bright side, we won the war. Dishes got done, bodies got washed. Casualties incurred: 1 water barrel with a broken valve port, 1 scalded hand. Not a bad outcome when going to war against water sprites...